I witnessed a local organization fail to be an ally to the queer community this winter–and then fail to take responsibility for the fallout for several months. I thought I'd write it, then I just didn't want to relive the drama...and then, last month in Portland, I saw an organization totally take ownership for their actions and publicly commit to doing better, and it was so inspiring.Read More
I'm always down to meet new people who are passionate about what they do (and doing cool things). But as an introvert, there's only so long I want to talk to anyone for. It’s just my nature.Read More
Gardening is a lot like writing, but it's also a break from writing.Read More
I was right on track with all my things (freelance and novel-writing requiring an exhausting number of balls in the air at all times) and then, whomp...the unexpected knocked everything sideways.Read More
Making a new year’s resolution for a big writing goal? Maybe you want to write a novel, or finally finish that draft of the screenplay you’ve been “working on” since summer. Here are the 7 ways I stay on track with big writing goals.Read More
Times when I need it most, I fall behind on self care strategies that help me bring my best self to the page.
Everything becomes an either/or trap:
Either I can take 30 minutes to do some yoga or I can write.
Either I can spend 15 minutes reading something for fun (not for research) or I can write.
Either I can call a friend or I can write.
Writing wins most of the time.Read More
I was so young when Matthew Shephard was brutally murdered, but we were all so young then.
Matthew’s murder made me feel how vulnerable it was to be different. To be queer.
I was in the closet when he died, and I wouldn’t come out for another year. But on some soul level, I knew I was gay, too. I knew it could happen to me, in another place, in another time.Read More
It started as an off feeling: Sluggish digestion. A morning fatigue that wouldn’t lift. And intense, crazy dreams whose themes—running to catch a train that didn’t stop at my station—suggested anxiety. Was this the expected tiredness that so often comes with a shift in season? My brain’s response to the dull, gray weather and shorter days?
I brushed off my feelings at first. I’d been working on the weekends and taking care of home maintenance needs. Of course I was tired and stressed. That was all…or was it?Read More
My neighbors had a tree service out today. All morning, it was chain saws and tree grinders droning on. That’s annoying, yes, when you work at home. You can’t really polish an essay before submission when your idle thinking time is interrupted by the grinder plowing through another load of leafy branches.
Then when you start comparing your productivity to theirs, it all derails.
They’ve taken down a century old tree while you’re still trying to muddle through one measly blog post.Read More
If you struggle with this time of year – and many of us do – please know you aren’t alone.
I’ve struggled with the holiday season for as long as I can remember.
For me it’s a mix of divorced family baggage, not connecting at all to the religious overtones of the season, stress over gift giving, and feeling drained by mounting obligations.Read More
The holiday season is a whirlwind and it’s really easy to get off track with your writing. As we count down to the end of the year, many writers beat themselves up because they haven’t written in a couple of weeks, they didn’t meet their word count goals, or they haven’t accomplished everything they wanted to in the course of the year. January starts, and they’re full of doubt over whether they’re good enough—not inspired to set writing intentions to succeed in the year ahead.
I don’t want that to happen this year to any of you, so I thought I’d share some of my favorite ways to stay connected to my writing when I’m super busy.Read More
Women are socialized to defer to men and protect male feelings. So what happens when we stop doing that?Read More
In a couple years I’ll be in college and out from under my parents’ thumb. Can’t I wait until then to let my rainbow freak flag fly?
My character’s words came to mind when I received a lesbian dating advice question from an Indian college student who felt trapped between a friend’s suspicion of her sexuality and her deep desire to remain in the closet through the rest of college. This woman was 20, and desperate to keep her secret hidden; I assumed this was because homosexuality is still criminalized in India and out gays and lesbians face widespread discrimination.Read More
While cleaning out my computer last year, I found some gems: Unpublished (and unpolished) short stories from my MFA program. After finishing my novel draft and feeling totally drained, editing the stories was the perfect way to tap back into creative writing without feeling the pressure of sustaining a story for hundreds of pages.Read More